Sometimes life dumps a whole bunch of stuff on you all at once and you are left standing there looking kind of dumbfounded wondering how you got where you are, how you’re going to get where you’re headed and when it’s all going to get better!
haha If you can’t tell, things are a bit crazy at my end as some major life changes and adjustments take place.
More than once recently, I’ve been left standing in the aftermath of crazy, and shaking my head. The world keeps moving even when we want it to sit still. Things happen to those that we love and we cannot control them. We see crazy first hand and we can’t believe we are actually seeing it. (Ever watch someone do something and wonder why they did it, because it’s not a normal reaction to a situation? – yeah me too… a lot lately).
But one thing remains constant, my friends.
So let’s move onto that new perspective I mentioned.
I’m a caretaker by nature. I take care of others and it’s something I have to do to feel whole. I take care of my kids, because they still need me even when they act like they don’t. That’s normal.
But I also take care of my friends and those that I love unconditionally.
Giving love, support, encouragement and strength. Do you know what I realized? By doing those things, which come second nature to me, the same gifts are unfolding towards me from those very people. I am looking around and realizing who is important to me. Who supports me, who encourages me and who strengthens me. As I take this bumpy path I chose, I have three people that continue to walk along with me, no matter what. Three people. I didn’t even expect to have one. But I have three.
My new perspective this year is to pay very close attention to that. I am going to make sure that not only am I giving to others more which is something I feel good about, but that the people I choose to put my time and energy in, are also reciprocating to me. I’ve never expected that before. But I also realized that I was carrying a lot of dead weight around in people that simply are not there for me, or supportive or…
Aside from my children, there are three people that stand out in my life as being my biggest supporters. I recently realized that these people, while not family, are closer to me than my own family. I am missing support from some important places in my life, and while I continue to make peace with that, I am seeing the unexpected gift I have been given from these three. We love, we laugh, we support, we encourage and we strengthen each other.
So my new perspective is to clean house. Simply make some changes for my own sanity but also so that I’m not giving and giving without anything back.
You can stop reading here if you’d like. The rest are personal messages to three people that need to hear how much they mean to me and how grateful I am for them in my life.
Names have been changed to protect the innocent, though they are free to comment on their own will with their real or changed names
To Cynders: You will always be my best friend. You have been there with me for 22 years, even when we were apart and I thank God for your friendship every single day. Your support, guidance and encouragement get me through even when you don’t realize that it is. You are a treasure and will always be my family. Thank you for helping me through this crappy time in my life and for always being there, especially when nobody else was. I love you, you are amazing. Oh yeah, and thanks for getting me out of the house more. It feels great and without you, I’d probably not do it enough. Here’s to 22 more!
To Izzy: You don’t know how much your friendship and support has meant to me. Even when there is time that passes, your friendship remains strong. Our lives are busy, and I know that. I hear your encouraging words and support in my head all the time. Until recently, I think you may have been my #1 fan. (sorry your place was taken, not a bad thing) You have listened to me, supported me, encouraged me and watched me grow and change over the past 2 years. A friendship that began so innocently and strangely online, has grown to be something I treasure everyday. We laugh together, we share together and most of all, there is nobody I’d rather break bread with around the family table. You are my hero, and you had no idea. But you are, and always will be. Thank you for all that you have taught me. I can honestly say I love you and your friendship and feel blessed to have you in my life.
To Douglas: I’d give it all back to you if I could, I know you know that. You are my rock. You are my support, my biggest fan, my encourager and my strength on those days I feel like I just can’t do it. You put the smile back on my face and you make each day brighter as I wake up and wonder what adventure awaits me for that day. You hold me accountable, you praise, you comfort, you just are my everything. You always have been. You’re right, I’ve met my match and I hope to hold onto that forever. Thank you for believing in me when I think I can’t. Reminding me of all the good things about myself, and most of all for missing me as much as I miss you. I love you and I will always, but never “Far Away”.